I have become a fan of Mark Schaefer and his books give great insights to blogging and social media. I bought and gave a friend one of his books. My friend had a poor view on Mark’s presence and reputation within the industry. When I heard my friends words I wanted to scream “bullshit” down the phone at him. But I did not, why?

I did not know the answer until now, some few weeks later. I am reading Mark’s Born to Blog and have become enlightened by Chapter 5, Dreaming. In this chapter he covers the art of dreaming to fuel storytelling, content and ideas. He delivers his view in how dreaming sparks creativity and how dreaming validates thoughts and self opinion. He refers to dreamers being labelled losers by others when their dreams do not realise cash and results in business terms. Yet in business and commerce, dreamers are visionaries, any business and the people who run them need to have a dream. Ask Richard Branson, he has dreamt fabulous ideas up, such as space excursions to the moon, and this activity and experience will soon be realised. Where has dreaming been a valid tool in visioning your business ideas? I bet Richard Branson will say much on the subject to explain that dreaming fuels desire and opportunity along with success. It can also fuel disappointment. As Little Red the Branson airline that provided internal flights in the UK, has just closed. Some dreams just do not finish as dreamt, but at least those dreams lived for a while.

Mark Schaefer gives credit to dreaming as a vehicle to storytelling and as a beginning to the journey of telling and writing a story. Of visioning how to create words that enrol the reader into believing in the story created, as if the story is living right there in front of you.

My friend who knocked Mark as a valid contributor to social writing and success has his own issues, he cannot and dare not dream. Dream to the extent that he sees that story in his head gain gravitas through reality to become a true expression of himself and to have an outcome In cash and success. So he knocks a person who writes books, who sells books who grows his audience who will pay good money to read his books. My friend knocks Mark because he fears his dreams coming true, because if such truth would occur in his life he would have to be responsible for carrying on with its success. So he knocks others who realise their dreams, and I did not scream at him down the phone “bullshit”.

Why did I not scream “bullshit?”

Because I was trying not to be rude, trying not to offend and trying to persuade my friend that he should see things a different way. Yes, I was trying to be nice. I failed my friend, I was not honest with him, I let him off the hook and I let his pathetic story of his own fear overrule my stand for him to see things a different way.

Another example is of my own fears getting in my way, this point really just hit me very recently, and this example is in my own business. You see, I have been the innovator and dreamer in my own business, a successful marketing agency, approaching 20 years in business. I have always looked to the future and visioned how new technologies and new ways of doing things would help to take our business forward. In my mind, when I dream and vision ideas, they are in the context of me. As my dreams have to gain legs as my ideas, before I share my dreams and thoughts for them to become the ownership of others. As our dreams and thoughts. Why do I do this in this way? It is because that in the first instance, before my dreams are shareable, I own my dreams as mine, I can see them working out, you know, thoughts lead to feeling, which lead to actions and lead to results.

So in having my creative ideas grow through a feeling of opportunity and I vision reality becoming so. I can see that taking appropriate action and giving my concepts to others, those who are better at delivery than I, to take my vision into a realiaseable model. Then my results become our results as the whole team thrive on making our dreams come true. Of course, much action has to take place, strategic development, processes and activity to have success be realised.

But how I get hooked is by my own bullshit. My own fear, my own limiters in my life. In my head I limit my creativity and ability to deliver, to my involvement in overall success. And guess what, I don’t scream bullshit to myself, do I!

Did you notice the twist here? I became frustrated in the bullshit of another, then I saw that through telling my story and writing my blog, I became connected to my own bullshit that runs in parallel to what I think of others. That when I am trying to inspire and help others by create and manage their dreams, I am also asking others to guard against my fears. To almost be so passionate and driven that they override my hidden fears with their positivity skill and ability.

As human beings we often settle for ordinary, why? Because to be extraordinary, we have to get out of our comfort zones, we have to stand above our bullshit and we have to be brave.

I have watched and listened on TV just this past weekend, to a sports manager and a house builder and both used the word brave. A football manager (soccer in the USA) said that he wanted his players to be brave on the ball, he wanted them to take the ball with responsibility and to own what was going to happen next. I heard an architect comment to the success of a house design being brave, this bravery gave the house a unique and individual look and character.

Bravery, does not evoke weakness it asks all of us to put our heads above the parapet. To stand up for making our dreams come true. When we are being brave, we are not being safe and small, we are contributing to our world to our audience, friends to family, in fact to anyone who is prepared top listen to us.

So, what is my conclusion to my desire to yell “bullshit” out loud? I do not advocate rudenessI but request honesty, passion and love. Bullshit said in the context of love, is a true relationship currency. OK, we should be mindful of language and our words should be in a supportive context that should feed our return on bravery.

So, I have a question for you. “When have you wanted to scream “bullshit” at somebody and haven’t” ask yourself, what stopped me, what got in the way?

I ask you also to ask yourself, who you were being when you did not shout out? Why were you being that way and what stopped you?

I invite you to tell me me your thoughts on this point, let’s see what is behind our playing safe and let us see why we are not brave and why we play safe. Is it to be liked? To be compliant? Is it to be ordinary?

My friend has a desire to match Mark Schaefer’s success and fame and his ability to sustain himself through earnings in this field of social media. Yet he does not do what Mark does, he does not put himself at risk. He does not write and own his words and offer his writings to others to give feedback, opinion, or to raise conversation. Damn, I should have raised my voice and yelled “bullshit”

I look forward to your conversation.

Having started my Blog a few weeks ago now and being committed to taking on my self expression, I have really become in tune with how we human beings become hooked by our inner fears. Our thoughts of, I cannot do rather than I can do. Yet, I see all around me evidence of those that just get on with things with no apparent fears, or so it would appear. Then I get to see that in some areas of life, such as an adrenaline rush, I posses no fear what so ever, yet in just being me in front of certain people, I get hooked by looking good. And yep, end up looking bad, or so I think!

So I created this Blog, to express myself on video, in writing and to simply, put myself out there.

Now what turns up are other blockages. Such as my blog needs SEO, so I have to learn search engine optimisation, I need to learn tagging and categorising. All points that to someone trained or in the know, seems so easy.

So I get to see what must be behind my thoughts and opinions, my action or lack of it, and mostly my results.

Not all self help books can get you off your backside and get you into action, in fact non of them can. But do you know what can?  I found out just recently, it is engaging with other people, finding out that others want to support you. Something as simple as a ‘favourited’ on Twitter illustrates that there are people out there just looking to support anyone that makes a difference, no matter how slight an attempt that you and I make.

How wonderful is that?

My recent experiences with a business partner have really gave me a very poor view of how little support some, so called partners give. How selfish self centred and ignorant some people can be. You might think this a strong view, it is. And you might ask, what do I have to give up to have a different view. In which case you would be correct.

I know I have given all that I can to give my business partner everything he needed to get his job done, I know that he could not have operated as successful as he has down, without me being me. And I thank him for being him, in such a way that, I write this blog. As I am now well and truly out of my box. And it has taken a while!

You see when we play team, partnership and group, there is a part of us that sometimes, has to go back in our box. I had to put away my aggression, that is what got the business started. I had to put away my, ‘it must be my way’, as that had the business stand still. I had to learn new tricks, that I wanted to resist. So putting some of me back into my box, was good.

BUT! And this is the but. I thought that I could never bring those true aspects of myself out again, I thought I had to put them away forever. Yet I didn’t have to at all.

My easy decision would be to castigate myself for keeping certain aspects of me in my box. I could make myself wrong, be found by me to be inadequate and to give reason to so called failure. However, what is failure when you have a pile of cash in the bank and a future that is open, free with all I choose to do ahead of me and free to step outside my box and see what tools in my box I am to use, on my next journey in life

Back to social media and being favourited! Wow, such a simple jesture is beautiful, powerful and engaging. And you know what, I don’t even know those new people who are favouriting my blogs on Twitter. Getting out of my box and looking at all of my human tools that I have sought, bought by training courses, learnt about and just become me by social experience and influence are, an amazing set of tools. And they are mine, unique to me and no other.

What I like and I mean really like, is that my social media favourited connections, are stepping out of their box to reach out. To say “Hi”, to be in contact with me.

So my simple question to fellow bloggers and Twiiter followers, those that stumble across my posting and those that find me in whatever way form at what ever time. Is to reach out for each other, be a person that favourites and follows and takes time to engage with fellow human beings.

We all want to get out of our box, and yes sometimes put part of parts of us back in. So I ask you to share such thoughts below!

My request, is that you learn to play with those parts of you that you put in and get out of yor box at different times. Respond to this blog and tell me what you have done recently and what aspects of you have been put back in or you have got out of your box.

What did you get out of certain aspects, what did you learn, even, what do you need to learn. What joy did you get and what did you do or stop doing?

We all can help and inform each other with our box stories. Share openly, share with passion and be self expressed.

Please comment, please give me your box stories.